I haven’t always been a blogger and a radio personality. For approximately the first 10 years of my working career, I was a server. And let me tell you, being a server is a job. A hard job. If you have never waited tables, you might not realize what a hard job it is. It might be easy to rationalize why it’s okay not to tip. So, I want to share with you a few reasons why you should always tip. Always.
What Does A Server Do, Actually?
Being a server is physically draining. You are on your feet all day and you carry heavy dishes back and forth through the restaurant, many of them burning your arms – with a smile on your face. You also have to be smart and organized. You need to be able to recall a lot more than the approximately 5-7 things your short term memory is set up to recall. One table needs tea, another asked for mustard. One customer will not want his glass refilled until it is exactly half empty. Someone will yell at you from across the restaurant. There will be kids who throw their food in the floor and then run around the restaurant as their parents look on, pretending not to notice.
There are huge bus tubs of dishes to carry. There are salads to make and orders to deliver to the kitchen. A server also has to see if your food is made to order. If it’s not, he or she then has to take it back to the kitchen and talk to the cook about how to fix it. Sometimes the cook still doesn’t fix it right, and the server generally gets the blame for this even though a logical person would realize this isn’t his or her fault. Servers also have to round up people to sing “Happy Birthday” to patrons who may or may not actually have a birthday on that day. And servers also are often unfairly held liable for those patrons who sneak out without paying their bill.
Many servers also have to make the bread that comes to your table. They also make tea, and do lots of other side work like roll silverware {which can run out during the night and need to be re-rolled} while the server still does his or her other duties. In many restaurants, servers have to keep bathrooms clean, seat tables and deliver To Go orders or tend the bar and/or make mixed drinks.
What I am trying to say is that there is so much more to waiting tables than bringing the steak out and keeping your drinks full. Servers make sure you have a great restaurant experience – while busting their butts.
Here Is Why It’s NEVER Okay To Stiff Your Waitress
Let’s say you work at a store and you make $9 an hour. You show up to work, you run the cash register and you mess up and bag someone’s bread with their ice cream. That person complains. You might get a written reprimand, but most likely you will get some kind of warning and that’s it. You will still make your $9 an hour.
Also, say you are stocking the shelves and you drop something and break it. I have never dropped anyone’s order that I can recall but I have seen it happen. And I have seen people use this as an excuse to not tip. I served until 4 days before I had my daughter and had a Braxton Hicks contraction so bad one day that it bent me over a patrons table while I was serving their food. I didn’t drop it though. That’s probably a lot due to luck. These people still tipped me, though, because they are awesome.
Another example – let’s say that a kid grabs something you just shelved and runs out the front of the store with it. Probably nothing will happen to you in either of these cases. You will still leave with your $9 per hour. If a person steals a meal from a restaurant, a server often has to pay for this out of his or her own pocket. So, not only does a server have to do the huge amount of work that I mentioned previously, but a server also has to play security. Another job to do. So, the server is out the cost of the meal, plus the tip.
Why You Should Always Tip Your Server
A server generally makes somewhere between $2 and $4 per hour – usually closer to the $2 an hour, in my experience. So, a server relies on tips to earn their living. Just like you, people have no idea what is going on in that person’s life. A family member or close friend or pet may have just died before work and they were crying in the back of the restaurant when you ran out of your drink. Perhaps your server is a single parent and works 2 or 3 jobs just to make ends meet and is too tired to remember everything. Perhaps your server has a physical disability that makes their job as a server harder for them than it is for others. Or perhaps your server just forgot to bring your something you asked for. Because we are humans and imperfect.
By you choosing not to tip because your server didn’t quite live up to your expectations and needs to be taught a lesson, you might be taking food out of their child’s mouth. You might be part of the reason that the server can’t afford to pay both the electricity and the water, so they have to choose.
And you might say, “So, get a better job if you want to make more money.” Well, if all the servers got a “better job,” where would you eat? Are you sure this is what you want to happen? I am not saying that you have to leave a huge tip for everyone. Definitely reward those who give you exceptional service, but don’t punish those who aren’t as good as others.
And saying you can’t afford to tip is ridiculous, too. If I can’t afford the tax on an item in a store, then I can’t afford that item. If I have just enough money to eat out in a sit down restaurant but not enough to tip, then I can’t afford to eat there. In that case, I eat fast food or at home. Leave that table free for someone who can pay for the service they are provided.
Straight From A Former Server’s Mouth
In my experience, serving tables was a good job. I enjoyed it and met some fabulous patrons and co-workers. I also met a few people who would not tip no matter what I did. I never forgot these people. While I waited tables, I was a single mom. I either worked 2 jobs or one job while also putting myself through college and taking care of all of mine and my daughter’s bills on my own. I also started serving right after being homeless. I didn’t start out with someone paying for my college and a nice car. I did it on my own. I worked very hard to make something of myself and to set a good example for my daughter.
So, I empathize. And I always leave something. Sometimes I get poor service and it gets on my nerves, but I never think that means that person shouldn’t get to eat. Never. I don’t feel like I am better than others and I am definitely in no position to judge. You just never know another person’s struggle.
I have never not tipped but I will say that I have had several encounters where my server was extremely rude to my family and because of this I only left a 10% tips instead of my usual 15-18%. When you are rude to my family and downright ignore us then I don’t believe you deserve the same 18% tip as the other serves who were friendly and were able to at least make it back to their table once or twice to check on patrons.
I can definitely feel you on that. I have had my fair share of rude servers, too. And I never leave them as much as I do those that really are attentive and polite. But I still leave something. I am glad that you do, too. 🙂
After all, that rude cashier at the discount store always gets paid, so it doesn’t seem fair to me that a waitress should get their pay docked for the same behavior that others do that doesn’t get theirs docked. We all have kids to feed, electricity to pay, etc. If enough people leave the rude server a smaller tip, I think he or she will eventually either learn to do better or find a new job anyway. But he or she shouldn’t have to skip meals to learn that lesson. Perhaps their parents didn’t teach them better to begin with, lol.
when it comes to rude people be it a server, cashier or even a fellow parent I usually smile and say ” I am not sure why you are having a bad day but I hope it gets better and I will keep you in my thoughts” Sometimes that’s enough for them to realize they’ve been rude and if not at least maybe I’ve given them something to think about.
If I return and they are still rude then I take it up with their manager to deal with.
That is a great idea. I might try that next time I get a rude server. 🙂
First off, I totally get where you are coming from and everything you said makes complete sense. But I have had servers that just didn’t care and for that, they got nothing. They deserved nothing. I normally start at a 20% tip and deduct for errors that are completely their fault. When a server walks by, looks at my empty drink and doesn’t automatically refill it, the tip goes down to 15%. I never get mad at them when the food gets messed up, but if I have to ask 3 times for ketchup, that is completely their mistake.
I get where you’re coming from, too. If you encounter a server that consistently does a bad job and is basically refusing to wait on you {i.e. asking for ketchup 3 times without getting it}, it might be time to tell management. Perhaps this isn’t a good fit for that person. I still tip, though, but not as much as I would a really great server just because we all have to make a living and everyone else gets paid, no matter how well they do their job.
I always check the receipt if they charged me for service charge. If they didn’t, I leave a tip for my server.
Yeah, sometimes I ask because those charges can sometimes be confusing. For instance, I know that a lot of times people don’t tip delivery drivers because they think the delivery charge goes to the driver. That is not always the case. Sometimes it goes to the restaurant.
I have never been a server but my husband has. We are 20-25% tippers unless the server is rude then it goes down accordingly. I don’t think we ever got such bad service that we have left nothing but we have only left maybe 10% due to the poor service. In my opinion your tip is based on your service and if you are rude or ignore me for most of my meal the tip will suffer for sure. I understand people need to eat and survive but to me a tip is like a reward for the service that I am provided.
At least you are always leaving something, though. Considering a server makes $2-$4 per hour, generally, the tip is not just a reward, it’s their livelihood. I totally agree that better servers should get better tips, though. That’s where I see it as a reward. 🙂
I always tip servers, even when they’re being jerks. I used to be a server, and I know that after a long day, it’s easy to let the exhaustion overtake you and make you short with people.
Yeah, we are all human so we all make mistakes. It’s great that you can empathize. 🙂
I have never been a server. I base my tip on the level of service I am provided. If you do a good job you get a good tip. I am not going to give the same tip to someone who is rude or forgets to refill my drink.
Unless I get super bad service, I always leave a good tip. Servers live off of tips, so I’ll tip them well if they’re even halfway decent.
Tipping is really different here and tips are treated in a different way (some places donate them all to charity), its really interesting hearing how different countries do different things. x
That’s interesting. Do you mind sharing what country you are from?
I always try to tip at least 15%. Servers work so hard and customer service can be hard to deal with some days.
I only didn’t tip my server 1 time in my whole life. And this was after being told that I wasn’t the center of the world and that she had “other sh*t to do” when she was outside smoking while our food got cold :(.
Wow. There are definitely exceptions to every rule. I think you might the right choice not to tip her. There was definitely no call for that. I am sorry you experienced that.
My husband has worked in restaurants his whole life and always talks about tips. I have never not tipped, even if theres been bad service. I tip but I also let them know about the service.
That’s a good idea. The server might not know that they are giving bad service. So, you might actually be helping them in the long run.
I always tip my server. A lot of times bad service isn’t always their fault.
You are right. There is just so much that goes on in the back of the restaurant that customers know nothing about. Time and again, though, I hear servers blamed for almost everything that goes wrong. There is no way that everything that goes wrong in a restaurant is their fault.
I am someone who always leaves a tip, even if the service isn’t great. I’m always happy to go above and beyond on a tip when warranted. You never know what’s going on!
This is so true. I generally tip 20% unless the experience was just awful. A lot of servers are students and college is so expensive right now.
You make a great point. My daughter would be one of those college students who waits tables to help with college expenses. 🙂
Your post really gives food for thought about of the payment model for servers. I always assumed servers make a salary and gratuities were in addition to that. In France historically there is no tipping. It’s easier for patrons we found but I think their servers envy the tipping tradition here!
Interesting. So, I wonder if the servers in France make whatever the minimum wage is there. Servers who don’t make that well here might envy their pay system. 🙂
Such a hard call. I personally have always tipped my servers but I know people who have had horrible experiences and have not. I think it depends on your experience.
I love to give a generous tip to servers and bartenders who are efficient and actually talk WITH my family instead of AT us.
Oooh, that brings up a good point. Have you ever had a server just talk to one person at the table? I had that happen once. The server just talked to my boyfriend at the time. Even when I was trying to put in my order, she just kept talking to him. *shaking my head*
I always give a generous tip to serves who are efficient and helpful. Minimum, 15%.
I would say I tip probably 99% of the time. The few exceptions have been when we were treated extremely rudely. But the rest of the time, we tend to tip over 20% and we take into account if we’re eating out at kids’ nights what our normal bill would have been and tip based on that.
I have never not tipped. I am born and raised in Las Vegas, which is a town that thrives on tips, and I fully believe in tip karma. If we received poor service, I simply leave the bare minimum and usually let management know.
I was a server for a long time. What people don’t realize is that not tipping means you are charging the server for you to eat there. The restaurant still makes its money through your bill. But with taxes and tipping out, the server loses money by you coming in. My tips vary in percentage based on quality of service, but I always leave something.
I am shocked by how many people hear that servers make $2-$4 an hour and that their tip is a “reward” instead of part of a servers payment. I will never understand that rationale. Who else would work for $2 an hour?
My motto is if you don’t want to get docked pay for messing up, then you shouldn’t think a waitress should not be tipped for messing up. It’s really quite simple.
I was a server for 15 years. I know the other side, so I always tip well.
Good for you. It seems that most people who have been servers seem to always tip, and generally well. I find that people who haven’t waited tables are the ones who seem to be able to decide it’s okay not to tip most often.
Being a server is not an easy job. I always tip when i go out to a restaurant. I was a server for a few years in high school.
I always tip my server. It is not as easy being a server as it might seem. My friend is a server and she depends on her tips.
When I was little my dream job was to be a waitress, no joke. Fast forward to today, I definitely have felt the pangs of not making ends meet, so this hits home
I’ve noticed that attentive servers with a welcoming smile get tips from the customers that can afford to eat and give tips. Customers buying drinks and meals, not tips, keep the doors open and their job secure. A tip is a gratuity, or “thank you”, for a performed service, and only an obligation when it’s a large group and management adds it into the bill.
You’ve made good points. I know someone who stiffed a waitress because the place didn’t have Wi-Fi. -_-
See, I hear stupid reasons like that for stiffing waitresses a lot. It’s really just that person rationalizing. They probably had no intention of ever leaving a tip.
I was a hostess in a fine dine restaurant for many years. Not the same as serving but I agree with a lot of your points.
I always leave a tip. Only a couple of times that I have not and that was due to such rude behavior from our server.
I like to think we are excellent tippers. We always leave at least 20% and if the service was superb.. we leave more! It’s a tough job and we appreciate it.
I generally always tip my servers, but it definitely depends on how good the service was. I think there has only been a few times when I have not tipped them.
I can’t believe that people didn’t tip at all! I knew about bad tippers, but that’s crazy! I hope Karma has found those people. Even when I’ve had bad experiences I’ve left some sort of tip.