My husband and I separated. I felt it was important to share this here because you won’t be seeing many more posts from him {he has a few coming} and I didn’t want you readers to wonder why. We have been together over 9 years and our 9 year wedding anniversary would be in February. As we all know, there are many reasons couples break up. Some of the fault lies with him. Some of the fault lies with me. What you won’t see here is me bashing him. Instead, I want to share what he brought to my life and why I am so very thankful that I met him.
6 Reasons Why I’m Thankful I Met My Almost Ex Husband
1. He was {and is} a good father. He met us when Amber was 9. After we got married, he adopted her. He didn’t have to think about it. He was all about it. Where another man stepped out {and hasn’t been much of a father to Amber since}, Jay stepped right in. And he has loved her and taken care of her and been there for her ever since. For everything he’s done for Amber, I am thankful.
2. He showed me what it is like to have a good family. His family loves each other. They help each other and are there for each other. They get together over holidays and genuinely care for each other. And when someone needs help, others step in. These are things that I was not always used to seeing in a family and it helped to paint a picture for me of what family should look like. For that lesson, and for my inclusion, I am thankful.
3. He supported my decision to go back to school. I had some college credits when we met – about 2/3 of an Associate’s Degree, but that was all. So, when I wanted to get my Associate’s {which meant working less hours} he was cool with it. Then, when I wanted to go on and get my Bachelor’s Degree {which meant working even less hours}, he was cool with that, too. So, I am now the first college graduate in my family. I am so proud of that. And Jay encouraged me all the way. For his encouragement, I am thankful.
4. He supported me when I decided to blog full time. After I graduated college, I got a job in my field. When I got hurt and no longer wanted to be in that field, Jay supported my decision to blog full time. Four years later, and this is the only job I have. I enjoy it so much. Because of blogging, I have been able to travel, I have pretty much redecorated my entire home, I have met so many cool and interesting people, I get to hang out with my dogs all day, I am available whenever Amber needs me and I have shared experiences from my past that have hurt me, but have hopefully helped others. Blogging has enriched my life and Jay supported it the entire time. For that, I am thankful.
5. We traveled. A lot. Jay is an awesome travel buddy – the best I have ever had. And he was always super agreeable about where to travel to and what to do when we got there. I seriously doubt I will ever find a travel partner that I meshed so well with, so, I admit, I really hate to lose that. However, the last trip I went on I did solo, and it was really fun, too. So, I am thankful for all the fun trips with Jay and also for learning that I can do things by myself and still have fun, too.
6. He’s still around when Amber and I need him. I bought some new furniture from Amazon and he put some of it together for me this morning. He also attempted to fix {and may have succeeded} our front door which has been acting super weird for a few days now.
Breaking Up Doesn’t Have To Be Ugly
I don’t think we will be getting back together. Over the time we were together, we both grew and changed a lot. So much so that we are completely different people now. People that no longer fit together. That doesn’t mean that we are wrong. That doesn’t mean we have to hate each other or be ugly to each other. I can’t speak about his feelings, but I definitely don’t hate him. I wish him the best and I think he wishes the best for me, too. Though the split is painful and fresh right now, I am still so very thankful for the time we spent together.
Oh Dawn, I am so sorry to read this. You have gone through a lot lately with your Mom (I read your posts, but sometimes my comments don’t go through from my mobile). I wish you and Jay all the very best in the world!
I’m sorry you two can’t resolve your problems happily. A responsible, supportive man is very hard to find. It is wonderful that you got to share so much and that your child got to see his good example.
I love that you have such a positive attitude and are moving forward. I know first hand how hard it is.
Divorce is never fun. You’re right, it’s not always one persons fault. I think this was a very nice post to write given the circumstances. Thanks for sharing.
I’m thankful for a very normal and wonderful day with my family for a change. I have to say that I love that you shared the news this way. What wonderful things to say and I’m glad things seem to be working out well no matter what road is taken.
I’ve been extremely sick the past year and haven’t been able to do anything, except lay down. I am thankful that I was able to go out of town last week with my family. It really put a smile on my face.
Awe I am sorry it did not work out. This is a sweet post, sounds like you enjoyed your time together.
I’m sorry you’re going through a separation but it’s so good that you can look at the positive things he has been in your life instead of focusing on the negatives! What an amazing way to move forward.
Oh man. On the one hand I’m so sorry that you guys didn’t work out. On the other hand, I’m so happy you can still be there as a team for your daughter. You certainly know how to keep it classy, lady.
This is so sweet… but I am sorry you have to go through this separation. Sadly sometimes things just so not work out the way you would like them too.
I am divorced from my kids father for basically the same reason – we just grew apart. Now we are each remarried, happy and most importantly, the kids are happy!
My parent divorced when I was 2 and have never been able to stay in the same room ever. It is good to hear about couples able to separate and still be friends.
I’m sorry it didn’t work out. I’m glad you’re still friends though – it’s rare.
It’s never easy to part ways in a close relationship. But what a great thing to not drag each other thru the mud and have a good friendship in the end.
I have also been in your situation and it is never pleasant. I am so glad to see you finding positives about Jay. It would have been so easy to bash him on the blog and you didn’t do that. I am so thrilled you chose that route. Good for you!
Divorce is hard and can get really ugly. Even though you are no longer together it’s good that you wish the best for each other and you are still both there for your daughter.
I am so sorry you are going through this, but this post? Is amazing. I’m sure it is really tough but how you are taking this is really admirable.
Sometimes life is rough. I like to think that things happen for a reason. I don’t always understand those reasons, but I am hopeful for what the future brings.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. You have an amazing attitude, and I know you will get through this and thrive.
I admire your perspective of this life change. So many people become vengeful and angry because of the hurt. Just because you no longer work together as a couple does not mean you don’t amazing memories and experiences that don’t have value any longer.
I honestly am sorry for having to go through a separation, but in reality? This reminds me a lot of my divorce, we just outgrew each other in ways that weren’t going to work and in turn it ended up being an amicable divorce where we now can co-parent our sons easily. There doesn’t have to be drama, you are right, and I am glad you can see why you are thankful to have had those 9 amazing years with this man. I wish you both much luck! I am currently just thankful for being able to work Part Time, after letting my boss know FT wasn’t working for me, he allowed me to go back to PT so I can have balance within my family again
Wow, I have never heard of someone being so positive about an ex. I applaud you for being so grown-up and look at the positives in life and him… Thanks for sharing.
A great relationship consists of shared interests, kindness and support. Glad you found it all in him.
I’ll be praying for you. My husband and I also separated this year, and I agree it doesn’t have to be ugly!
This is completely refreshing to see. It is beautiful to know that you are both leaving the relationship in a positive place with your daughter at the center.
I a sorry to her about your separation, but love the way you’re handling it. There is a lot to be learned about gracefully bowing out and understanding that sometimes things change, and it’s not always bad. Just different
All of my splits, and my divorce, were mutual- I am fortunate in that. However, none of them were easy. You seem like a very strong person, thanks for sharing your story!
It’s awesome that you have this perspective. It sounds like your kids will still have some great parents regardless of the changes.
I love your outlook on this! It is great that there are no hard feelings and your child is not being pulled into a bad situation.
I am sorry that it didn’t work out. But I’m glad that although it was painful, it wasn’t ugly.
This must have been a difficult post to write. Sharing your feelings about a divorce must be difficult.
I’m sorry to hear about the split. It’s nice to see you handling it so maturely and without venom.
He has really great qualities. I like that you listed all the positives and that the relationship ended on a positive note
Sorry to hear that you are breaking up, but happy to hear that you can still appreciate one another!
Wow… this was not the post I expected to read.
I am so sorry that you two parted but it sounds like this is the best thing for both of you and I love that you two still appreciate each other and the memories you made together.
It is so great that you can still have a healthy relationship with your ex. That is good for you and your daughter.
I am sorry for your situation but it sounds like you and your family are doing ok. Sometimes we have to make tough decisions but they are for the best.
Divorce is never easy especially with kids. I’m sorry that your marriage hasn’t worked out however I think it’s great that you’ve shared some silver linings in all those gray clouds.