I travel a lot. And a lot of the time, that is road tripping by car. Sometimes I ride solo, but most of the time someone rides with me. Generally people are respectful of my car but sometimes I get that person who is just too comfy in my car and forgets that it is MY car and not theirs. So, I submit to you these long overdue rules for shotgun riders.

I generally never let anyone else drive my car now {I learned a hard lesson about that when I shared driving responsibilities with someone who insisted on texting while driving in my car}. So, since I generally shoulder all of the responsibility, I usually pay all of the gas costs, it’s wear and tear on my car and it’s usually for a trip that I set up that the passenger generally pays very little or nothing for, I feel that it’s perfectly fine to lay down some rules for riding shotgun in my car. I mean, if the only thing I had to do was chill the entire time, taking in the lovely scenery, napping, reading or whatever, I would totally be up for whatever the driver said. But perhaps that’s just me. Thus, I feel the need to share these rules.

Rules For Riding Shotgun In My Car

*Remember, if you don’t like the rules of someone else’s car, you always have the option of driving yourself.

1. Don’t Touch The Air Settings – Yes. I know it’s set on 60 degrees all the time. I am also aware that you have vents that you can close on your side of the car as well as in the back two rows of seating. I have asthma and 60 degrees helps me breathe better. Also, I get tired when I drive. The hotter I am, the more tired I am. I think a breathing, fully awake driver is just a smidge more important than whether you are at your optimal comfort level. What would you do if I went in your house and adjusted the thermostat? And there are these awesome inventions called jackets. Bring one.

2. Don’t Ask Me To Pull Over When The Traffic Is Crazy – I recently had a passenger who refused to go to the bathroom when we were leaving a hotel in a major city. Not 30 minutes later this passenger was telling me to pull over since they had to go to the bathroom immediately! We hadn’t even left the city! I pulled over, and was terrified when I pulled back out into traffic. That won’t happen again. Go when the opportunity is there or be prepared to cross your legs and pray. I stop every 1-2 hours, so it’s not that long between stops anyway.

3. Don’t Touch The Radio – In my car, whoever is driving chooses the music. Why? Because I say so. Also the driver is doing all the work. We can choose together if you like, but don’t just change it to whatever you want to hear with no regard for me. Again, I am doing you a solid driving all the way. I am not there to also entertain you and cater to your every wish. If my music sucks {which it doesn’t} feel free to bring headphones and a listening device of your own. Amber and Mackenzie always do this and never complain about it. Also, don’t adjust the volume or the station dial. In my car we jam. Or we don’t. I decide. Unless, of course, you want to pay my car note. Then you can decide. What? No takers?

*Currently in my car we listen to Journey, Blake Shelton, Britney Spears {the club mixes when we need to wake up}, Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, Fleetwood Mac, Maroon 5 and Foreigner. But that is subject to change at any moment. But if you love one of these, feel free to suggest it. If you don’t, feel free to pop your headphones in. 😉

4. Don’t Text And Drive – I mean, seriously, who even needs to be told this? If you are a person that values a text more than you do the lives of people in the car and around you, I really won’t be able to explain this to you anyway. I will just never be in another car with you driving. Ever. Sadly I think that the only thing that might get people who do this to drive safer is a cop pulling you over, issuing you the most crazy, expensive ticket known to man and then a judge taking your license. I just hope this all happens before you kill someone.

5. Be Ready To Leave On Time – If I am driving somewhere and I say 5pm, I mean 5pm. Not 5:10. And certainly not 6PM. This has been a constant problem with people that I have offered to drive to functions that I have set up. I am definitely not trying to be ugly but if I worked for you, you wouldn’t want me arriving 10 minutes late everyday would you? Your tardiness reflects poorly on me and I am no longer willing to accept that. You don’t have to take part in any functions that I set up, but if you do, be on time. Or I will leave without you. Trust.

6. If You Make A Mess, Clean It Up – I think this goes without explanation. If you drop chips all in the floor, please clean them up. If you spill your drink, clean it up – or at least make an attempt. There is no magic clean up fairy that takes care of all of this. It’s me or Jay. And that means it’s usually Jay. He generally cleans my car up super nice for trips and I really don’t want to bring him a mess of chocolate all over the place and chips all over the floor that I obviously didn’t do. There is also a small trash can, tissues and baby wipes in my car at all times – so you really don’t have an excuse not to at least make an attempt to clean the mess that you made up.

7. Help Me Merge On To The Interstate – I once had a person in the shotgun seat who would get so upset when I would ask them to see if it was OK for me to merge onto the interstate. I know it’s hard chilling and relaxing the whole trip while someone else does all the work, but every few hundred miles, offering a 2nd pair of eyes won’t kill you. It might even save your life, lol. I drive a big Acadia. It’s a sexy car but that baby has some blind spots. Safety first people. You should also help with any other issues I have such as helping me look for road signs, exits, etc. Put your book down. Wake up from your nap. Actually stretch your neck muscles in the direction I am asking you to look. People, I am not your chauffeur. And you are certainly not paying me. If I need help, then help. Don’t be a jerk about it. Don’t worry, after your few minute contribution to our safety, you are welcome to go back to staring aimlessly at the landscape again thinking about the snack you will be having on our next stop.

8. No Smoking – Again, I have asthma. Smoking is a luxury for you. Breathing is a necessity for me. I can’t recall ever having someone just light up in my car, but I have had several people roll down the window at a stop, get out of the passenger side and then lean in my car or open door with a cigarette blowing smoke in my car. Seriously? Why don’t you kill me now? Please. Also, a car is fueled by gasoline. Gasoline is flammable. I, too, am flammable. Again, please kill me now.

The Times They Are Changing

From now on, I think anyone who wants to ride with me on a road trip anywhere will have to agree to all of these rules in advance. If they feel these are unfair or too much to ask, they can always drive themselves, rent an Uber or find another way to travel – perhaps a limo for their royal selves? Find one here: https://www.limofind.com/. Here are some more great rules to follow when riding shotgun. Feel free to follow these in my car, too. Calling shotgun is another thing entirely. Feel free to sit wherever you want in my car. I couldn’t care less.

Do You Have Rules For Shotgun Riders?

All of these rules came about because of personal experiences with shotgun riders. Perhaps there is something that I missed. Feel free to share your experiences in the comments below.