My husband and I separated. I felt it was important to share this here because you won’t be seeing many more posts from him {he has a few coming} and I didn’t want you readers to wonder why. We have been together over 9 years and our 9 year wedding anniversary would be in February. As we all know, there are many reasons couples break up. Some of the fault lies with him. Some of the fault lies with me. What you won’t see here is me bashing him. Instead, I want to share what he brought to my life and why I am so very thankful that I met him.
6 Reasons Why I’m Thankful I Met My Almost Ex Husband
1. He was {and is} a good father. He met us when Amber was 9. After we got married, he adopted her. He didn’t have to think about it. He was all about it. Where another man stepped out {and hasn’t been much of a father to Amber since}, Jay stepped right in. And he has loved her and taken care of her and been there for her ever since. For everything he’s done for Amber, I am thankful.
2. He showed me what it is like to have a good family. His family loves each other. They help each other and are there for each other. They get together over holidays and genuinely care for each other. And when someone needs help, others step in. These are things that I was not always used to seeing in a family and it helped to paint a picture for me of what family should look like. For that lesson, and for my inclusion, I am thankful.
3. He supported my decision to go back to school. I had some college credits when we met – about 2/3 of an Associate’s Degree, but that was all. So, when I wanted to get my Associate’s {which meant working less hours} he was cool with it. Then, when I wanted to go on and get my Bachelor’s Degree {which meant working even less hours}, he was cool with that, too. So, I am now the first college graduate in my family. I am so proud of that. And Jay encouraged me all the way. For his encouragement, I am thankful.
4. He supported me when I decided to blog full time. After I graduated college, I got a job in my field. When I got hurt and no longer wanted to be in that field, Jay supported my decision to blog full time. Four years later, and this is the only job I have. I enjoy it so much. Because of blogging, I have been able to travel, I have pretty much redecorated my entire home, I have met so many cool and interesting people, I get to hang out with my dogs all day, I am available whenever Amber needs me and I have shared experiences from my past that have hurt me, but have hopefully helped others. Blogging has enriched my life and Jay supported it the entire time. For that, I am thankful.
5. We traveled. A lot. Jay is an awesome travel buddy – the best I have ever had. And he was always super agreeable about where to travel to and what to do when we got there. I seriously doubt I will ever find a travel partner that I meshed so well with, so, I admit, I really hate to lose that. However, the last trip I went on I did solo, and it was really fun, too. So, I am thankful for all the fun trips with Jay and also for learning that I can do things by myself and still have fun, too.
6. He’s still around when Amber and I need him. I bought some new furniture from Amazon and he put some of it together for me this morning. He also attempted to fix {and may have succeeded} our front door which has been acting super weird for a few days now.
Breaking Up Doesn’t Have To Be Ugly
I don’t think we will be getting back together. Over the time we were together, we both grew and changed a lot. So much so that we are completely different people now. People that no longer fit together. That doesn’t mean that we are wrong. That doesn’t mean we have to hate each other or be ugly to each other. I can’t speak about his feelings, but I definitely don’t hate him. I wish him the best and I think he wishes the best for me, too. Though the split is painful and fresh right now, I am still so very thankful for the time we spent together.
View Comments (38)
Oh Dawn, I am so sorry to read this. You have gone through a lot lately with your Mom (I read your posts, but sometimes my comments don't go through from my mobile). I wish you and Jay all the very best in the world!
I'm sorry you two can't resolve your problems happily. A responsible, supportive man is very hard to find. It is wonderful that you got to share so much and that your child got to see his good example.
I love that you have such a positive attitude and are moving forward. I know first hand how hard it is.
Divorce is never fun. You're right, it's not always one persons fault. I think this was a very nice post to write given the circumstances. Thanks for sharing.
I'm thankful for a very normal and wonderful day with my family for a change. I have to say that I love that you shared the news this way. What wonderful things to say and I'm glad things seem to be working out well no matter what road is taken.
I've been extremely sick the past year and haven't been able to do anything, except lay down. I am thankful that I was able to go out of town last week with my family. It really put a smile on my face.
Awe I am sorry it did not work out. This is a sweet post, sounds like you enjoyed your time together.
I'm sorry you're going through a separation but it's so good that you can look at the positive things he has been in your life instead of focusing on the negatives! What an amazing way to move forward.
Oh man. On the one hand I'm so sorry that you guys didn't work out. On the other hand, I'm so happy you can still be there as a team for your daughter. You certainly know how to keep it classy, lady.
This is so sweet... but I am sorry you have to go through this separation. Sadly sometimes things just so not work out the way you would like them too.