To Those Reading This: You Are Beautiful. That Is All.

To Those Reading This: You Are Beautiful. That Is All.

So, a few weeks ago I saw a really stupid video on YouTube. I won’t say who the person was who did it because, honestly, she doesn’t deserve your pageviews {aka money} or your time. What I will say is that she made a video that probably hurt a lot of people. Under the guise of saying that she was trying to “help fat people,” she made jokes, talked about how fat people were lazy and how they they smelled like sausage and other idiocy. I am thinking I missed the “helpful” part.

Bullying Is Not The Same As Helping

Obviously, this girl thinks she is funny. As a fat girl, let me tell you, she is not. Her comments didn’t hurt my feelings. Girl, as a person who has been fat all my life, I have heard it all. But, as a once impressionable teen, those comments cut me deep – and I am sure many teen girls watched that video. And this makes me mad.

Who gives her the right to judge others? Why does she get to decide what is beautiful and what is not? And why do so many people like to insult fat people and then say they are doing it to “help them” get healthier. For one, how do you know they are not healthy already? You cannot always know what medical conditions one has by looking at their body. Also, unless you have a medical degree and are a person’s doctor, or your opinion was specifically asked for, why would you be so arrogant as to think your opinion matters anyway?

Think of it this way. Insulting people hurts even if you think you are helping. It causes psychological scars that often take years to heal – if they heal at all. If you are making fun of a person and following it up with an “I am just trying to help you get healthy,” then you are not helping. You are just insulting someone, just like people who tell racist jokes and then say they have a lot of black friends. Or people who make fun of homosexuals and then talk about how they have gay friends. You are still being a bully. You are just being mean and rationalizing it.

Simply put, just like it’s not okay to judge people based on their sex, race or sexual preference, it is not okay to judge people based on their size. You have no idea how anyone got to that size, nor is it your business. Just as it’s no one else’s business how you got to the size you are. Why should anyone be made to feel less than because their body is more than?

I See Your True Colors Shining Through

I once had a guy I met for a blind date. He took a look at me and said I was “fatter than” he thought. I had never sent him a full body picture, so what he “thought” was totally of his own making. In no way was he misled. Anything he might have assumed was all him. Anyway, we did not have our date and I admit it hurt my feelings. Having more life experience since then, I realize it was his loss, not mine. I would never date someone that shallow being the woman I am today. I will no longer tolerate being talked to like that and neither should any of you out there who might be reading this. After all, people treat you the way you allow them to.

If someone insults you based on your appearance, remember they are the one with the flaws. I understand that people can help in a loving way, but nagging or making smart remarks is in no way loving {such as the video in which I am referencing}. That means that that person has issues they need to deal with. And those issues do not have to be yours. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. Be happy with yourself. And if you are not, work on yourself for you. But never change yourself for someone else. Trust me, those who are worth having in your life love you just the way you are.

About Dawn McAlexander

Dawn is a full time travel and lifestyle blogger. Besides Cheap Is The New Classy, she also owns and writes for Eat Play Rock and State By State Travel. Her interests include traveling, home decor, DIY projects, organizing her home and enjoying a nice cup of coffee {or two}. She currently resides in North Carolina with her husband, Jay, and their fur babies.

Comments

  1. I think I knew the video you meant. It sickened me.
    This is a beautiful post with a fresh message. Thank you. I needed it on a Monday morning on my second week of a bad cold!

  2. This was so inspiring and I know which video you are talking about. As a big girl she so did not make me want to get more fit or toned because it was hurtful what she said. I believe people should be values for what they are inside not by what they look like.

  3. Great post and something everyone should read. Love the Ryan Gosling meme, of course!

  4. Robin (Masshole Mommy) says:

    I don’t know what video you are talking about and I don’t want to. She sounds like first class JERK.

  5. I hate it when people try to be funny at the expense of other people. I think she did this just to get more attention.

  6. I couldn’t even watch that video, because I knew it would make me mad. I have been over weight all my life and have heard all the insults… It’s just not ok how some people think it’s alright to be that mean to another human being.

  7. OMG. THAT video… That made me so sick to my stomach. I wanted to slap the taste out of her mouth!

  8. Great post and a good reminder that we all human and need to treat each other as that. I have friends of every race color, size and shape and they all make my life better!

  9. People should treat others how they want to be treated. It’s amazing how cruel people can be. Thank you for this post.

  10. This is a wonderful post, everyone should read. I’m so tired of all the bullying, and putting people down. It isn’t right, and people are just cruel. I do however love Ryan and those memes.

  11. I absolutely hate bullying. It’s so cruel how some people can be. I wish we could all just be nice to one another and treat each other with respect.

  12. I love your message! This cyber bullying nonsense got out of hand fast. It’s good to know there are are also people online who are supportive!

  13. I’m glad I hadn’t seen the video you are speaking about. Bullying is awful and those that are bullied need to know that they are loved and don’t deserve that type of treatment.

  14. This is a great post! I hate bullying. Thanks for sharing such a great message!

  15. It’s so easy to be mean. We need to be sure to watch what we say and do and try harder to be nice.

  16. It really is sad how mean people can be. I love this meme so very true no one needs a filter!

  17. I love this post. I can’t believe how cruel people can be behind their computer screens.

  18. I really like the positive message your’e sending out here. It’s amazing some of the things people think are acceptable, isn’t it?

  19. Sabrina @ Dinner, then Dessert says:

    Bullying is never acceptable! We need to appreciate everyone’s beauty and eliminate the negativity!

  20. Ann Bacciaglia says:

    I can not believe a date actually said u were “fatter than” he thought! I would have said “well you are a lot uglier then i thought!”. Bullying needs to stop. We need to build each other up.

  21. It is terrible that people are so quick to put others down. I have taught my kids to treat other the way you want to be treated. We need to be supportive of each other.

  22. Lisa Bristol says:

    I tell my Daughter she is beautiful every day. We need to teach kids by being a good example.

  23. man awesome post! bullying is horrible i watch dr. phil all the time and i am saddened when you has guests on that are being bullied or the parents of children who killed themselves. this is horrible and needs to stop.

  24. Way to take the higher road. What a terrible person to make such a bullying video. Thank you

  25. My daughter was actually bullied by a teacher. Her excuse was that she was helping to motivate her. It was awful.

  26. Thanks for building more awareness about this issue. Bullying is such a problem these days and the best way to show our support is by NOT watching that video. Kids today are so obsessed with outward appearances, but you and I both know it’s the person inside that REALLY matters.

  27. This is SO great and I love that you have such a positive outlook on your self now. I don’t know of the video you are talking about, but if I see it, I won’t click on it. :)

    Thanks for sharing this very positive post.

  28. I totally agree that we need to treat each other better. What a great reminder this post is.

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