Are you friends with your ex on Facebook?
According to a new study in Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking we have a really hard time getting over exes – especially when we are friends with the ex on Facebook. Tara Marshal of Brunel University in the U.K. followed more than 464 active Facebook users’ progress after a breakup. She evaluated their Facebook habits and the correlation between their emotional recovery and personal adjustment and found that even barring offline contact, the Facebook contact stunted their healing.
So, what does this mean for you, dear reader? Well, in short, if you are still friends with your ex on Facebook, according to this study you may still feel the desire to date that person or not feel closure over the relationship {feelings that might be different if you had no social media contact with that person}. Personally, I think it depends on the ex. I think most people have that ex that still gets to them, but I have a couple exes that our relationships ended on good terms and I can say definitely that looking at their pages doesn’t bother me. I also have a couple exes that I can no longer stand to even look at, let alone talk to on a daily basis {or even yearly, for that matter} and no, they are not on my friends list. That is not because I want them {or that I am afraid I might, given site of their faces, bleh}, it is quite the opposite.
As for the exes that still get to us - I think that most people want to “get along,” and perhaps throwing a Facebook friend request is like offering the proverbial olive branch. Having said that, I think the study is right. If you have an ex on Facebook that you still want and looking at their page tortures you, than yes, kick them off your page. Especially if it’s an ex that you KNOW that you can not have. I mean, it may seem rude {and even explain it to the ex if it makes you feel better} but is it worth it to suffer daily with the “what ifs” just to see someone’s status? Or their relationship status? It used to be that we only had to worry about running into former flames out in public. Now, we can see them all day long – online. Is it worth it? Why do that to yourself?
Are you friends with your ex on Facebook?
If so, does it bother you to look at their page? Are there any exes you specifically DO NOT friend? If so, why?
About Dawn McAlexander
I’m only friends with 2 of the people I ever dated. The rest I don’t talk to anymore.
Being friends with people on facebook is something that too many people do carelessly. You are letting them in to your everyday life. Sometimes that’s not a good thing. lol
Twitter: inkscrblr
says:
I recently had an ex look me up and his wife messages me. That was creepy. I didn’t even want to remember that guy. He was totally not worth my time when I was 16. Like seriously hardly even recalled his name. Crazy!
Paula Schuck recently posted..Cooking With Kids: #ClubhouseRecipeMix Tuscan Chicken
Twitter: thenewclassy
says:
I have had a couple exes’ wives contact me. Both of those exes are ones that I have nothing to do with and their wives are people I don’t care to talk to either. One of them I didn’t even know – she just sent me a stupid email out of the blue. Hmmm, wonder who gave her the email address? People can be so weird.
Dawn
Twitter: sweeptight
says:
I am friends with an ex on Facebook, but we don’t even talk. I am also friends with his current girlfriend, so it’s not sneaky or anything!
Jennifer recently posted..Electric Coffee Grinder Review and Sweepstakes
Twitter: SGRcom
says:
I am friends with two exes on Facebook. The relationships were long ago, and I would consider both of them to be friends now. I don’t talk to one much because we’ve just grown apart, but the other is one of my best friends now. The rest of my exes, no, I don’t want them on my Facebook because I don’t care to see their faces yearly either!
Kecia recently posted..The Avengers + Shopping + Pizza = A Very Fun Night! #MarvelAvengersWMT
Twitter: JadeLDesigns
says:
That’s quite an interesting thought. I’m friends with just a few exs, but we had been broken up and retained a friendship for a few years before we ever became Facebook friends. But no, I don’t think I’d remain Facebook friends with an ex who was fresh and hadn’t figured out a new position for them in my life whether it be friend or never speak to again! THEN if after a long time and the healing complete then I’d re-evaluate.
Amber Edwards recently posted..Girls Night In, Lean Cuisine Asian Dinner & DIY Paper Lanterns #FrozenFavorites #CBias
I think it is fine as long as your significant others knows about it and nothing is hidden.
Francine recently posted..Win a $5 Amazon code!
Twitter: coupns4urfamily
says:
I am friends with my ex on facebook mainly so we can share pictures of kids–doesnt bother either one of us
Denise recently posted..Tanga Deals 9/27– New Balance GoreTex Men’s and Women’s Boots for $59.99!
Twitter: myfrugalwife
says:
My husband and I are on the same page on that one luckily. If it is in your past, leave it there, if you want to contact it, leave me alone. Plain and simple. I believe it is too easy when you are in a committed relationship and things get a little hard to start thinking about the what if’s with another person, if there is history there, and you have kept in touch, then there is a stronger chance you will not work things out with the one you are with.
Jennifer Williams recently posted..P&G Insert Preview for 9/30/12
Twitter: guavalicious
says:
Unless you ere friends after your breakup, I don’t see a reason to be in contact. It just leads to romanticizing.
Kate, aka Guavalicious recently posted..Random Wednesday Links
The only exes I’m friends with on Facebook are from high school. My ex-fiance I am NOT friends with because it would bother me even though I don’t miss him.. It would just bug me. I don’t have many of them on my list though.
Darcy recently posted..September Sprinkles: Tiny Love Gymini and Mobile Giveaway! (US/Can) 10/11
I was friends with my exe from high school, but he was a political fanatic, and I wound up removing him from my news feed!
Jenn recently posted..The Digest Diet – If The Jeans Fit
That’s very interesting!! I am friends with all my exes on FB!! I don’t want to date them though. =)
Kristin Wheeler (MamaLuvsBooks) recently posted..The Avengers DVD Release ~ Dinner & Movie Night #MarvelAvengersWMT #CBias
I avoided facebook for so long because I didn’t feel like dealing with this very thing!
Meredith recently posted..A Blissfully Tired Fog
I am friends with one serious ex and a couple guys I dated in Middle/High school – no drama and its all good. Its nice to be adults and be happy for each other!
Twitter: jenzen69
says:
I have children with both my exes, so we go back and forth. If we have a special event we friend each other to easier share info and pics
Jenn recently posted..Saved By An Orthotic? #product reviews
Twitter: livinmommylife
says:
I’m not friends with any of my exes on FB, I had a couple of them on myspace, but it’s been years since I’ve used myspace!
Malia recently posted..FREE Blogger Event – $200 Amazon GC
I was friends with an EX on Facebook, but it made my hubby uncomfortable just because he was the most recent one (as in 15 years ago lol) so I deleted him just to appease my hubby! It’s no biggie to me but then again we got married fairly young.
maria recently posted..Feeling Overwhelmed? 5 Top Tips to Create Organized Chaos
Twitter: dayziesnrozes
says:
I have a few ex boyfriends on facebook, but I hardly see anything from them. My ex husband and I are friends on facebook still, but that’s only because we share kids. It’s dumb for us to try to avoid each other on social media, when we have a daughter together. I’m friends with his parents, sisters, aunts, and the same goes for him. We’re family, even if we are going through a divorce. Yes, it makes it a little harder, and I’m already bracing myself for the day when I read a relationship status message up on his wall. But it’s all information that I’d get anyway, through other friends and family, and probably need, since we have Daughter.
Shayla Burks recently posted..Wordless
Twitter: CrazyToddlerMom
says:
I don’t have my ex on Facebook. It wasn’t healthy for me.
Alyssa McVey (Giveaway Overload) recently posted..Taking Time Out To Be #Thankful
Twitter: myfrugalwife
says:
I love the fair, I have not been since my oldest was younger. It always brings back great memories.
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