Facebook Safety – Protecting Our Kids From The Not So Obvious Threats + Linky

Facebook Safety ~

Safety first!
 

Recently my daughter re-posted a picture that a childhood friend of mine posted on his Facebook page. She was unaware that wherever he posted that from also came with the picture. So, I am looking at my daughter’s Facebook page and find a picture that was not explicit in and of itself {though it wasn’t for the grade school crowd either – but acceptable for my daughter’s age group as she is 15} but it came with the “Eat a {member of a male’s anatomy} tagline.

Syd Connelly and winning safety slogan
 

I immediately called my daughter {she was at a friend’s house} and asked her why she had posted that. She took it down immediately and she said that she was unaware that anything would repost besides the picture. I asked her who’s page she got it from, she told me, and I was shocked. Not only is this person an adult, but he has a child the same age as my daughter!

So, I wrote him a message on Facebook..

“My daughter just got in trouble because she shared something off your page that came from “eat a ****.” Yes, she should have looked where it came from before she posted it and I am addressing it, but perhaps you should think about that before posting stuff when you have a daughter her age.”

And here is the response that I got back…

“Thanks for your concern, Dawn. You take care of your daughter and I’ll take care of mine. If you dont want her on my wall, keep her off it. I am sorry this caused you frustration but it isnt my fault…There are 100 times worse things happening at her and ***** schools. I do care but just keep a closer eye on hjer (sic).”

Really? Is this how we take care of our children? When did we lose that sense of responsibility and the feeling that we, as parents, need to set a good example? I looked through his Facebook page after that and found that virtually every single post on his page was something that I would find unacceptable for my family – and I am pretty lenient in the “what I find acceptable” department.

So, here is the point of my post. I think, as parents, that we need to keep a closer eye on our children, and yes, that means all social media {Facebook in particular}. We need to realize that it isn’t always the strangers that are the problem or the abusive members of our families who are most dangerous. These people are obvious, so we avoid them because we know they are threats. However, oftentimes, the people who have the capacity to cause the most harm are those that have a zero in the accountability department – those hedonistic people that just do whatever, whenever, with no thoughts about anything but their own happiness {but they haven’t caused any real noticeable harm to society yet}. My daughter’s post was deleted within minutes of posting, and I am glad of that.

That person is no longer on any of our Facebook lists. This decision might not make me the most popular person, but I think it makes me a smart one. I don’t think the post bothered me as much as the “not my fault” attitude. We can not act like that as parents. We can not be selfish and act like children ourselves. If we choose to be parents, we need to grow up. My husband and I had a talk with my daughter about being careful of what she reposts on Facebook and internet safety, in general. As parents, we do our best and hope that she understands.

We always hear about cyber bullying – but we rarely hear about lazy, self serving parenting. Perhaps this is a topic that needs more discussion.

 How do you practice child and facebook safety?

 


About Dawn McAlexander

Dawn is a full time travel and lifestyle blogger. Besides Cheap Is The New Classy, she also owns and writes for EatPlayRock.com, an entertainment site. Her interests include traveling, home decor, DIY projects, organizing her home and enjoying a nice cup of coffee {or two}. She currently resides in North Carolina with her dog, Daisy.

Comments

  1. What an obnoxious response. I would have deleted that person too.

    • People never fail to shock and amaze me. That wasn’t even his entire response – all self serving.

      Dawn

  2. I am sure you handled it like other moms would. Delete and move on. It is shame how our kids can’t enjoy life which how this world is now. Great Post!

  3. I think you handled it perfectly. Thanks for the great post. With 3 young kids this is something that I’m constantly thinking about. There is so much garbage out there and we need to protect them from it for as long as possible.

  4. Good job! People really don’t think. But then I also see these teenagers who DO know what they are posting…status updates and it makes me wonder where the parents are!

    • Yes, the parents need to step in. Why would the teens care if their parents don’t?

      Dawn

  5. That is SO scary!! When my kids 1st started using Facebook and such, we went over all the safety rules and tried to teach them the right way to do it all… we actually installed a key stroke logger. OMG… they were NOT listening to anything… NEVER be afraid to shut it down!! There are crazy peeps out there and kids really think they know and are savy… guide them!

    • Key stroke logger – nice! lol! We let our daughter get a Facebook account a few years ago on the agreement that we have her password at all times and that we can log in at any time. We have slowly slacked off on the logging in, not because we are lazy – but because she has shown us that she can be trusted – but we still have her password just in case. She has actually done really well with it {thank God} with very few problems. The only problem that I recall was something she said on her page about another child that I thought was uncalled for. I made her remove the post and banned her from Facebook for a long time. That was years ago and, since then, I haven’t seen posts like that. Given the way a lot of teens behave, I feel quite fortunate.

      Dawn

  6. I really feel like in the last few years, the devil-may-care attitude has gotten a lot more prevalent and our overall level of tolerance of things that should cause us to raise an eyebrow has increased. It’s kind of sad. Your daughter is a good illustration of the point that in the age of Facebook, as parents we have an entirely new realm to teach our children about and keep them safe from. Kids don’t realize that the things they innocently (or sometimes not-so-innocently) post or share could prevent them from getting into a specific college, remove them from consideration for a job, etc.

    • You are so right. Children have no idea how things like this could impact their future. I feel bad that I introduced this person into my child’s life and he set such a poor example. I do believe that she should have known not to forward that message {because of the tagline that followed} but since she has never done that before {that I am aware of} then I believe it was an honest mistake. Having said that, if she does this again, it will be a completely different talk next time. :)

      Dawn

  7. While I am not sure I would have contacted the other party about what he posted, I do agree that deleting him off yours and your daughter’s accounts was for the best. That’s the best way to ensure she isn’t exposed to further vulgarity.

    • Yeah, I agree – because most of the time if a parent does something like that to begin with, contacting them makes no difference. I do feel that if I hadn’t though, then I might be giving the message that I condone that behavior – and I find it really passive aggressive to unfollow someone that you have known your whole life without even giving him a chance to defend himself. So, for me, telling him was the right thing to do – though it got me nowhere except mad.

      Dawn

  8. You did the right thing, as did your daughter. That man is just a sorry excuse for a parent and I’m seeing it happen all of the time. Parents, if you have a kid, you are NOT a kid anymore and should GROW UP! Ridiculous. I’m scared to death of when my kids are teens, because social media will be that much more advanced. I can only hope and pray that I can stay on top of it. Good for you, Dawn!

  9. I agree. I think you did the best thing to just unfollow that person. We can’t control what others post or say so it’s best to just not follow them.

  10. It is so difficult these days to balance our concern for kids and the responses from other adults. While my kids aren’t on Facebook (yet), we have had encounters with parents at sports event. My husband told a boy who punched a girl in the head to stop (we’re talking over 10 yrs old). The boy’s parent came and yelled at my husband for interfering. I was shocked that a parent condone her son punching a girl. We now focus teaching our kids how to act and right from wrong. It’s sad that not everyone shares our beliefs.
    Thanks for sharing your experience.

    • Oh gosh! I have seen stuff like that, too – and the way some parents behave at their kid’s sporting events makes me cringe just thinking about it!

      Dawn

  11. shanon hyatt says:

    Good for you Dawn-Awesome and well needed information and advice; thanks for sharing. My daughter will be reading your blog when she gets up and starts her day- We talk about this a lot and I too have talked to her about this often-I have went through her Facebook and deleted several people-most of them had no business befriending my child -and they just wanted to drag her into their gossipy click “not”. My daughter was really ok with it-but then she’s only 11 right now. And everyone of those people got a message from me “loud and clear”- I also deleted several of her friends that were being inappropriate on Facebook. And she knows it goes both ways- If she’s in the wrong-she has no Facebook period! To touch on something else-that surprised me was that 90% of those people were women and girls. I think we intend to trust our own sex first-and that’s not always the safe way.So now my daughter has to go through me before re posting anything-might sound a little harsh to some-But if it’s keeping my daughter safe that’s all that matters. As for the father of your daughters friend-There are no words for his actions or response other then too say sounds like he needs to be behind bars. And as far as you contacting the other party-why not?? He needs to be brought out into the open -so he’s aware that you and others know -I would of done the same thing-how dare he-and get away with it-We need more parents like you too stand up against people like him-to protect are children today.

  12. Patty A says:

    I think you handled it pretty well.

  13. You did a great job dealing with the situation. Great reminder to everyone on internet safety!

  14. Oh my goodness what a jerk. You did the right thing.

  15. Wow . I’m sure that was not the response you were expecting. Good for you for approaching him about it. Too bad he reacted how he did.

  16. Sonali Das says:

    Thanks for the post. My sons are still young for Facebook, but what you faced concerns me as a parent. No matter in what part of the globe we live in, when it comes to raising our children, most of the time, the concerns are the same. You did the right thing by unfriending this person; he does sound very egotistical.

  17. I would have been beyond livid with that response! You did the right thing and thanks for this post, my kids are much younger but Im very aware of being cautious with them when it comes to online, it’s a scary place and getting scarier!